omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
