3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize