She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
