i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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