i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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