so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
