YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
