That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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