I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize