Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
