Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
