I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
