my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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