only if we run a train.
done.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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