Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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