I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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