Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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