remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize