We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
