just come out here and I will go home with you...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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