Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
