I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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