my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
