Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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