I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
