So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize