I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
