I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
