my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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