Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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