where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
