girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
