Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
