My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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