So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
