Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
