Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
