Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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