This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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