so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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