it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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