I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
50% drunk capacity currently
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
