i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
