the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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