so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
