we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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