I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
