check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
