You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
