Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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