I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
