Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
