Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
