I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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