i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
