Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
