is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
