I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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