Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
