I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
