I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
