I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your dad touched me again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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