she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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