btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
