I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
