fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
