I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
