Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
