How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
