Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and she was petting her beer can
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
