So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
