So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
