he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
