capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
