I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
