I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
