Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize