Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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